12/19/18: Official Autism Diagnosis.

Yesterday, we finally had our official Autism evaluation with Utah Behavior Services (a child psychologist) and very quickly received confirmation that Bennett does, in fact, have Autism Spectrum Disorder. It was an interesting experience to be in the room with the psychologist watching him test Bennett and seeing the deficiencies so clearly. I think we've just seen Bennett come such a long way that I forget how much he still doesn't do--like care if we're in the room or not, make eye contact, initiate engagement from us, smile easily, etc.

While it was difficult to watch him basically ignore the psychologist and me for an hour, despite repeated attempts to engage with him in play, it was also reassuring, in a way, because I have felt that he has struggled socially for a very long time and it was nice to have an expert validate that for me. It also helped me feel better about feeling like it takes so much work to engage Bennett and play with him because he actually requires a lot more work than most kids. It made me feel like a better mom, haha.

One of the first things the psych said to me when we walked in was that a lot of kids get an Autism diagnosis when they really shouldn't because it's more of just a language delay, a sensory processing issue, a general cognitive delay, etc. I think he was preparing me for not receiving a diagnosis despite the language issues. But within about 10 minutes he was quick to realize that I wasn't nearly as concerned about the language delay as the social impairment (as far as the reason we were there for the testing). As he watched Bennett playing in the room (before the official eval had even started), he was already pretty confident he would qualify for a diagnosis. The formal evaluation just further confirmed it.

One really nice thing that came out of the evaluation was that the psych was so profuse with his praise for Dave and I for how hard we've already worked with Bennett with early intervention. He was able to see that Bennett could perform a lot of socially appropriate behaviors because he had been "trained". These were things like pointing, signing, asking for help, looking at us when we called his name, sitting down when we asked him to, etc. Those things have taken months to achieve, and he could tell that Bennett didn't really understand why he needed to do them, but he did them anyway because we have worked so hard on them with him. He was really complimentary of our emotional engagement with Bennett's development already and said he was hopeful that we would continue to really help him a ton as he gets older.

So...what does this all mean? Basically, I wanted to make sure we had an official diagnosis (if he really did have autism, of course) because you qualify for additional services in the schools as well as different therapies insurance will be willing to cover better. He recommended ABA therapy, which was heavy.

ABA stands for Applied Behavior Analysis, and seems to be the gold standard for helping kids with autism develop more neurotypical social and adaptive behaviors. It's pretty similar to what we already do with Kids on the Move, but the difference is that it's 25-40 hours a week of in-home therapy with Bennett, where KOTM has been basically about an hour or two a week with different therapists. Obviously this is a massive life-change, and I'm a little overwhelmed about how to handle it.

Finishing my PhD is looking more and more impossible and I worry about Olivia getting the attention she needs, as well as Dave and I not cracking under all the stress. I know lots of families do this and people say it really helps, but I just feel nervous and I've never really understood how people do it, to be honest. I guess now I'll find out, right?

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As a side note: We are almost 5 months seizure free!! We've stayed at about 2.7-3.0 mL of Oxcarbazepine and it seems to be controlling things. The CBD oil has continue to help with his engagement and spaciness (although he's been spacing out more and more the last week or so), and we added and appetite med (Cyproheptadine), which helped a little with his eating in the beginning, but now might just be making him hangry while he's still not willing to eat anything besides macaroni and chocolate chip eggos, haha. Pediasure is life...

Here's a video of Bennett "reading" to Olivia...and saying "Balloon"! <3

We noticed massive improvements in his engagement with us when we started playing mellow classical music in the background at home a few weeks ago. It seems like it is much easier for him to make eye contact and stay focused with us than it used to be, which is awesome. Now if the music is off, he'll be harder to engage and we won't realize it until we remember we need to turn it on. It's kind of crazy how quickly it helps him, actually! 

As always, thanks for reading!